1. i'm not happy with it...
2. i'm always attached to my past, and i can't stop it
3. i'm alone.
4. i'm stupid
5. i felt like im useless
6. i have a broken family
7. i did something that hurts my auntie a lot!
8. i lost something very important from my family
9. i just lost my wallet, pouch bag and my company id last saturday,
10. i can't remember where i lost it
11. i know i'm smart but i don't know where to use it
12. i am unfortunate
13. i want to study but i can't
14. i always wanted to help but there's always something missing
15. i felt not comming to work lately
16. i am tired
17. i missed my friends
18. i am not used of not having fun
19. i missed my night life
20. i missed my mother
21. i missed my family
22. i envy someone
23. i love someone but i don't know if is still worth it
24. i feel im just so alone!!!
25. this feeling i have right now is killing me and i dont like it
26. i had a suicidal attempt before, but i realized, i am intelligent enough to think its worthless to do such things..
27. i want to do a lot of things but i cant start a single of them
28. i want something that i cant have
29. i need something that seems impossible to happen
30. i want my family back
31. they don't understand me
32. i was crying
33. i am soft-hearted
34. i am weak but again i know i am smart
35. i am tired again!
36. i want to do charity but i don't have much resources
37. i am alone
39. i need my family
40. i missed my childhood
41. i missed when my family was happy eating together on one table
42. i missed the way they cook
43. i missed Christmas
44. i never had Christmas again since then
45. i missed New Year celebrations
46. i am not maturing
47. i missed my best friend
48. i missed going to malls with my friends
49. i missed playing games
50. i want them back
51. i have friends but they're not there 24-7
52. i envy my friends having great stories about their family
53. i envy my friends being happy with their life
54. the day is gloomy.
55. i want something that i cant
56. i am hoping for something that requires a lot of time
57. i failed
58. im cold
59. i felt like i was left alone
60. i hate my past
61. i cant recover
62. i dont know what to say
63. someone hates me
64. someone is starting to dislike me
65. i need more but its not enough
66. my hair is a mess today
67. im sick
68. im depressed
69. no one can help me but only me, myself and i can put everything back together
70. i lost big bucks coz of my stupid wallet
71. i am not improving on my work
72. someone doesn't realize that i love that someone so much
73. i lost my family picture on my wallet
74. i lost my company id
75. i lost my cards
76. i lost myself
77. i might lose my job
78. i lost some important papers from my wallet
79. i lost my one and only family picture from my wallet
80. i loosing hope
81. im hopeless
82. im pathetic
83. i want to go out but dont have money
84. i dont trust someone anymore
85. someone never realizes that it breaks my heart
86. my heart is bleeding
87. im felt that im alone again
88. saying goodbye is so hard for me
89. i am no longer sure about someone
90. im sad
91. i missed my mom
92. i missed my grandmom
93. happiness only comes very often
94. happiness comes once but sadness comes thrice
95. i am unfortunate
96. i hate some people
97. my heart was closed already
98. i want my family to be complete again
99. i need my family back
100. i just hate myself
now, why i am still alive? coz God is always with me and He is comforting me and giving me strength, telling me not to give up in some ways, even though i never visited the church again....
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Why I Hate My Life So Much!!!
Friday, January 25, 2008
MAKING MONEY BY BLOGGING
I know some of you might been asking why i was addicted in making a lot of Blogs recently... There are only two reasons behind it..
First, I just love writing.. PERIOD! I love to write anything and every single thing that cross on my mind... especially those things that are interesting for me... I write short stories to show my emotions and to show what i feel on that day... But usually i post a lot of things about electronic devices, gadgets and anything that is about technology.
Secondly, is because of making money online through blogging... There are a lot of ways making money online, but only through blogging is the best way for me... But since i just started recently and I still dont have enough resources about it, i found it its quite difficult at first. But as time goes by, i learned with the other bloggers a lot of things about the process and how they make money from it... to know more about this you may visit this link: MONEY MAKING ONLINE
GOOGLE ADSENSE
If you need some useful website to post your blogs, you may also try HUBPAGES.COM and this is one of the best blogging websites.
Or you may try this:
And you may also try some of the ads that I have on my site. you may safely click on those ads, and it will direct you to some sites that gives a decent rewards.
As of now, with google adsense, i have $25.00 earned from this site itself! and regarding google adsense, you may want to know more about it by visiting this link --GOOGLE ADSENSE ..
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
BEST FRIENDS
(this is a story of two best friends who ... nwey just read the story... hope you like it... just sharing it.. i found this story from a particular site and i like it)
10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She
was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone
went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't` see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Which is better? iPhone or Nokia N95
Apple has the iPhone and Nokia has the N95. Bothe phones were released recently. Both phones provides almost the same features. Nokia an all-in-one multimedia device and iPhone which is a cellular phone, multimedia player, a camera and PDA. I can say that Nokia N95, which was release earlier, is a stiff competitor for the iPhone of Apple.
The Nokia N95 and Apple iPhone
Nokia N95 has silver display, allows to watch videos, take photographs, send emails and call clients all through one device. N95 of Nokia was sold at a much higher price tag than the Apple iPhone, ranging at $700.
Nokia N95 have a unique two-way slide conept. It also offers GPS integration with maps to over 100 countries. Some features can be purchased well of course for additional cost. However, iPhone have much better maps feature integration and more detailed.
One of the best feature of these two phones is the design of it. In Nokia N95, with a two-way slide concept, can switch between two different modes: with numeric keypad on one side, which is common on most ordinary phones, and media keys on the other side. The concept of having the two-way slide is to give protection for the keyboard in which unlike from the iPhone, which gives a revolutionary touch screen interface and a virtual keyboard.
The Nokia N95 allows for both landscape and portrait mode, same thing with the Apple iPhone. However, the Apple iPhone offers a larger display at greater resolution at 320 x 480 pixels in comparison to the Nokia’s 240 x 320 pixels. The Apple iPhone interface is still remarkably more intuitive, elegant, and beautiful than all of its competitors yet the Nokia N95 does offer some competitive alternatives with a mixture of traditional features and increased multimedia capabilities.
Regarding the camera capabilities of the two phones, Nokia N95 is the winner with its 5.0 megapixels camera, which offers greater quality of photographs and higher resolution of videos, unlike with Apple iPhone which has only 2.0 megapixels camera. But, when it comes to photo and video editing, Apple iPhone tops them all in which Nokia N95 doesn't have that feature on the phone. Apple iPhone, enables you to take photos and video and edit them right then and there on your iPhone, and send them off to friends, family, and colleagues by email.
Through the HSDPA networks offering support to WLAN, EDGE, and WCDMA networks, the wireless capability of the Nokia N95 is faster than the 3G. The Nokia N95 also features S60 Software on Symbian OS, allowing for personalization through compatible applications.
Both phones also offer voicemail features, but Apple iPhone offers the unique visual voicemail option.
Battery life span is also a great deal for the two competiting phones. Currently, the battery life of the Nokia N95 is short, antenna is weak and the multimedia player does not have a contrast or brightness control. After improvemes and upgrades are made, this model will be a better option. For Apple iPhone, it has three sensors: an ambient light sensor that prevents waste of battery life and adjusts brightness and contrast of the display; an accelerometer for adjusting between landscape and portrait mode; and a proximity sensor that turns off the display and touchscreen when the iPhone comes closes to the body; as well as three switches that enable sleep/wake, volume up/down, and ringer on/off modes.
The answer for the question on the title still depends on your choice... as for me... i'm still with the Apple iPhone, but for camera capabilities, its with Nokia N95
Friday, January 18, 2008
JANUARY SOFTWARE UPGRADE FOR iPOD TOUCH
The "January Software Upgrade" for the iPod touch, including Mail, Google Maps, Weather, Stocks and Notes. Mind you, this is not to be confused with the totally free 1.1.3 system upgrade, which brings the player up to date on iTunes 7.6 for rentals, etc., but has no apps of its own.
TAKE NOTE! YOU NEED TO BUY THE JANUARY SOFTWARE UPGRADE FROM ITUNES FOR $20 TO HAVE THESE APPS ON YOUR IPOD TOUCH!!!
WHATS NEW ON IPOD TOUCH WITH JANUARY SOFTWARE UPGRADE
Mail
It’s the best email you’ve ever seen on a handheld device. View rich HTML email with graphics and photos displayed inline, as well as PDF and Microsoft Word and Excel attachments.
Maps
With Google Maps, tap a map instead of unfolding it. Quickly find where you are and the nearest café, post office, or other business on a map or satellite image. Even get directions and check traffic.
Web Clips
Create Web Clips of websites and web apps, which then appear on your Home screen. So you can visit your favorite websites in just one tap.
Customizable Home Screen
Make the Home screen your own. Change what's in the Dock. Rearrange the icons. You can add up to eight different Home screen pages and fill them with Web Clips.
Stocks
Check your stocks and track the market over one day, one week, one month, three months, six months, one year, or two years.
Notes
Take notes. Jot down a reminder. Make a to-do list. Then save or even email them. WIth the easy-to-use touch keyboard, Notes is an incredibly useful application.
Weather
Get a five-day forecast, including highs and lows, for cities around the world. Save your favorite locations so you can check the weather anytime.
Movies and Music
Rent a movie from iTunes and watch it on the go. Navigate through the chapters. And view the lyrics from your favorite music while a song plays.
(SORRY FOR THE BLURRED IMAGES.. I WILL UPDATE IT SOON)
iPHONE FIRMWARE 1.1.3 UPDATE
my friends..... for those who have iPhones and well yes, iPod Touch... there is a new firmware that needs to be downloaded.... the firmware 1.1.3... but before you upgrade your firmware.... you need to download the new version of iTunes as well...
The much awaited firmware 1.1.3 is now available..It delivers new features like the ability to send SMS messages to multiple recipients at once, faux-GPS on Google Maps via triangulation, Google Maps showing the hybrid map view, drag and drop icons on the home screen and bookmarks on the home screen (i.e. Webclips). There are also some new features, such as videos with chapters, the ability to display lyrics on music.
Apple Enhances Revolutionary iPhone With Software Update
MACWORLD SAN FRANCISCO, Jan. 15 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ --
Apple(R) today announced a free software update for its revolutionary iPhone(TM) that allows users to automatically find their location using the redesigned Maps application*; text message multiple people in one message; create Web Clips for their favorite websites; customize their home screen; and watch movies rented from the new iTunes(R) Movie Rentals right on their iPhone. With its revolutionary multi-touch user interface and pioneering software, users caneasily add significant new features to their iPhone through software updates whenever an update becomes available. New iPhone products shipping from the factory will include the software update and existing iPhone customers will automatically get the update for free when they sync their iPhone with iTunes (http://www.itunes.com/).
"iPhone doesn't stand still -- we're making it better and better all the time," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO. "We've delighted millions of users with this revolutionary and magical product and it's great to share these improvements with them."
Maps, one of the most popular and helpful applications on iPhone, has a new interface that is simpler and easier to use and adds incredible new features such as the ability to find your location automatically. With just the tap of a button, iPhone can now triangulate your position using nearby Wi-Fi base stations or cellular towers. You can use this as a starting or ending point for directions or to find local points of interest. The new hybrid map view combines map view and satellite view so you can see major street names overlaid on satellite imagery.Users can now create Web Clips -- icons on the home screen that take you directly to your favorite websites, including to the exact spot you have zoomed into. Web Clips are a great way to easily track websites that you frequently check such as news, blogs, sports sites and movie listings. In addition, users can now customize their home screen by repositioning any of the icons, and even create up to nine different home screens that they can easily flick between. iPhone's new software update also adds the ability to send the same SMS text message to multiple people, and iPhone saves a history of your text messages, so with one tap you can send a new message to the same group.
With Apple's new iTunes Movie Rentals, movie fans can rent movies on their computer, easily and quickly transfer them to their iPhone, and watch them anywhere on iPhone's gorgeous 3.5 inch screen. Users can also now navigate forward or backward through their movies by chapters, select alternate language tracks and view subtitles, if available.
Pricing & Availability The iPhone software update 1.1.3 is available immediately for free via iTunes 7.5 or later for all existing iPhone customers in the US, UK, Germany and France. New iPhone products shipping from the factory will include the software update and existing iPhone customers will automatically get the update for free when they sync their iPhone with iTunes (http://www.itunes.com). iTunes Movie Rentals are available in the US only.
Further information for iPhone can be found at http://www.apple.com/iphone.
*Availability and precision of Maps positioning features will vary depending on actual location.
here are some screenshots from gearlive.com of the new updates for the firmware 1.1.3
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Bose QuietComfort® 3 Acoustic Noise Cancelling®
Of all the speaker system, or sound system or whatever they call it, i found only one product that will surpass all of existing sound systems in the world.... well im not really promoting this product but i tried a lot of headphones/headsets, or speakers but only BOSE comes the best one for me...
Nothing in Bose could be describe as "not bad"... everything are the best!
for more informations about Bose QuietComfort® 3 Acoustic Noise Cancelling® pls click here
Saturday, January 12, 2008
ANIME CHARACTER OF MYSELF
I would like to share these portraits of mine that was drawn by a friend named Kazuhiro... i wont post his full name coz i haven't asked a permission from him yet... anyway, just like what he told me before on my friendster account, He will create an anime character out of me.. and he did after.. hmm a week or two... i was really amazed that he actually created 4 drawings out from my pictures on my friendster... i was so overwhelmed and so glad when he send me a copy of those drawings that he made for me... these drawings were my first portrait in my entire life and i will surely keep it and will even print those protraits.... i really do appreciate these drawings that he made for me... Mr. Kazuhiro, Thank you so much for these wonderful drawings...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
THE LETTER
THE LETTER (a short story)
What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten..... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show? Somehow, I wished I could have told her that I love her but now there's no hope in doing so. For now, it's rather too late- too late for me to do so.
She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love.
I could still remember the first time we met, I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to transfer at a neighboring state because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away
when out came the loveliest girl I've seen. She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you
like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, " My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, " Well i like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, " Thanks! troy and I made this. this used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you
know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with troy and I could be your new best friend too. i never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!" So that's how it started.
So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catchi> ng frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was i who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a weeks's allowance. I
remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.
The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. it made me like her even more.
As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.
Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.
We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance mixed feelings of anger and hurt because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I
could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.
Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I
was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy.
Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him as she passes by me she doesnt know that i whispher the words "God how I love you."
Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up to their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe i would have the chance of telling> her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.
So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. we still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart.
So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her I love her. So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.
It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well i just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend."
Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam." The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy i felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!" I ran slowed up so that i would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.
Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, " Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her.
When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said ," Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor.
It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.
We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to ourtable, she was gone. I asked her friend, katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went and search for her.
As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhoutte figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other. i could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium. Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and n> ot me. I would rather have left
in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. in the hallways, as she approaches i would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.
The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me. there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.
So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.
It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her
know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her.
I reached their house, I saw her older sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lasy just like my dear Sam. I then asked," Hi Jen! I guess you're suprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Ummm.........bby the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly, "Come follow me."
I was confused with the way she's acting but still i followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but just answered my questiond briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. The Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."
I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.
I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and slowly started saying," It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but eventhough she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regard this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. by the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.
I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........ >
******************************
I know by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you are with me. When you are away, I can't stop crying because I'm afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel. Each time you held me close to you was like a dream coming true for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was heaven. So many
things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to full myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm sayin are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love.
I know you might be thinking of Mark but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. when our prom
night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing,I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so i told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love. What
happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. you continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you
feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.
Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.
P.S.
Think of me sometimes.... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.
************************************
I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
THE SECRET
The Secret is a book authored by Rhonda Byrne, reveals the most powerful law in the universe (well according to them). It comes in a book or a movie, but both of them reveals the secret that has kept thousand of years. This book is about the law of attraction and it will tell you how to manifest it in your life.
I havent read the book but i watched the movie of The Secret... It was a good movie after all, but this is not the common movie that you see in moviehouses or theaters, but this is a movie that uses a documentary format. The film features short dramatized experiences and interviews of a few men and women specialized in different profession and are specialized in the fields of quantum physics, psychology, metaphysics, coaching, theology, philosophy, finance, feng shui, medicine, and personal development and whom had manifested the law of attraction or The Secret into their lives.
The movie reveals the secret of having wealth, good relationship and a good health. The movie also will tell you on how to manifest it in your life by doing this and that. I wont reveal those things that I learned from The Secret so better grab a copy of it or buy one in your nearest bookstore and start reading it or watch the movie of it if you dont like reading...
If I would be ask if this "The Secret" actually had manifested in my life, well i can tell you that.. it could be because of my personal experiences...I always want to have something but it came to me with much greater than my expectations. Few months ago, i always wanted to have my personal computer.. a simple personal computer and after a couple of months, i got it but not just a simple computer but a high-end level computer. I was also obsessed on wanting to have an iPod nano, and what i've got is an iPod Touch and an iPhone. I also wanted to have a watch but what I've got is an mp3/mp4 watch. and there's a lot more things that i think and that concludes me that "The Secret" is actually true in my life... and right now i wanted to have something but i wont tell it.. until i actually recieve it... and i am applying all those things that i've learned from that movie and im getting the same results over and over again... hope it could help your life too just like it did on me...
http://www.thesecret.tv/ (official website of The Secret)
Monday, January 7, 2008
LIFE AND THINGS I'VE LEARNED
I’ve learned That you can do something in an instant That will give your heartache for life.
I’ve learned That it’s taking me a long time To become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned That you can keep going Long after you can’t.
I’ve learned That we are responsible for what we do, No matter how we feel.
I’ve learned That either you control your attitude Or it controls you.
I’ve learned That heroes are the people who do what has to be done When it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned That money Is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down Are the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned That sometimes when I’m angry, I have the right to be angry. But that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned That just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to Doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned That maturity has to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them And less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. Families aren’t biological.
I’ve learned That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while And you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned That no matter how bad your heart is broken The world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, But we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean that they do.
I’ve learned That we don’t have to change friendsIf we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned That you shouldn’t be eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned That two people can look at the exact same thing And see something totally different.
I’ve learned That even when you think you have no more to give. When a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned That credentials on the wall Do not make you a decent human being.
I’ve learned That the people you care about most in life Are taken from you too soon.
(i got this thing from somewhere, and its true for me)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
JAILBREAKING AN iPOD TOUCH with FIRMWARE 1.1.2
JAILBREAKING AN iPOD TOUCH with FIRMWARE 1.1.2
(note: you need a wireless internet connection aka WIFI to do this )
a video of a jailbreaked iPod touch (sorry if its a mess!)
1) if the firmware of your ipod touch is on 1.1.2 then you need to DOWNGRADE it to 1.1.1
2) here is the link where you can download the 1.1.1 firmware: http://appldnld.apple.com.edgesuite.net/content.info.apple.com/iPod/SBML/osx/bundles/061-3932.20070927.p23dD/iPod1,1_1.1.1_3A110a_Restore.ipsw
3) save it anywhere on your pc, but preferably on desktop so that it wont be that hard to look for it. then connect your iPod Touch to PC and Open iTunes. (i believe you have iTunes already right?)
4) Open your iPod touch in iTunes.
5) you need to Hold the SHIFT key and click "Check for Update"
6) a pop up window will appear then locate the file you that you have just downloaded on your desktop and open it.
7) and just wait for a few seconds and just let it do its job... and it will downgrade the firmware of you iPod touch... after that we proceed on the next step:
JAILBREAKING YOUR iPOD TOUCH again! (for updated jailbreaked 1.1.1 to 1.1.2:
1) on your iPod touch (of courSE) Open Safari and go to: jailbreakme.com (make sure that you are connected on a WIFI, coz if not, then you wont be able to connect on the internet obviously)
2) On that website scroll down and click Install AppSnapp
3) and it will close your Safari automatically and it will download the "installer" on your iPod, and just wait for a few seconds until its done
4) Slide to unlock, and congratulations!!! you just jailbroken your iPod Touch! just to make sure that it did the right job, check on your screen on your iPod Touch the icon "installer" (the icon is a blue thingy) on your iPod Touch.
5) Click on "installer" icon
6) and at the very bottom of your screen (not the page) click on the icon INSTALL (the icon is between FEATURED and UPDATE)
7) after clicking the INSTALL icon, there are a lot of folders in there, now go to Tweaks 1.1.1 and open it
8) and on that folder you should see oktoPrep, now click it and install it.
9) then after that exit the installer
TO UPDATE THE FIRMWARE FROM 1.1.1 TO 1.1.2
1) Connect again your iPod Touch to your computer and open iTunes.
2) Open your iPod Touch on your iTunes and click on Update
3) It will install the new firmware to your iPod Touch for a couple of seconds
4) after the installation is done, your iPod touch will restart by itself, don't be nervous you are on the right track
5) now check your iPod touch firmware and it should be on 1.1.2
THIS IS THE LAST STEP DONT WORRY!
1) Close your iTunes
2) Open the Task Manager (you can right click on taskbar then click Task Manager or press CTRL+ALT+DELETE and choose Task Manager)
3) Close everything (click on that file and click on end process) that has the following filename: iTunes Helper, AppleMobileDeviceService, iPodervice
4) Close your task manager
5) and download this file and save it on your desktop again http://rapidshare.com/files/72237156/1.1.2-jailbreak.zip (you need to have a winzip program or any program that can open zipped files and extract the zipped files on a folder)
6)and connect again your iPod touch to your computer (if you disconnected your iPod touch from your computer)
7) Then open the extracted folder Jailbreak 1.1.2
8) Double click on windows.bat(for Windows users), Double click on jailbreak.jar(for MAC-users)
9) and just follow the instructions from there and make sure that you tick the box(put a checkmark on the box) to enable SSH (this is very important because it this gives you the ability to install your own apps or files later)
10) Then press JAILBREAK! and just wait for a couple of seconds or minutes again... and just let it do the thing... after successfully jailbreaking your 1.1.2 firmware, it will restart your ipod touch a couple of times.. just wait for it (dont panic coz it's normal) after that, you should see the icon again INSTALLER on you iPod Touch screen, and enjoy installing some programs or all of them lolz.by the way, you need to be connected on WIFI so you can download and install those applications/programs...
i was able to do this things with the power of these websites:
http://www.touchdev.net/wiki/Jailbreak_1.1.2
http://www.tuaw.com/2007/10/29/instant-jailbreak-for-iphone-and-ipod-touch/
http://forum.insanelymac.com/index.php?showtopic=71052
http://forums.ilounge.com/showthread.php?t=212346
http://ipodtouchjunk.com/forum/f4/how-jailbreak-your-ipod-touch-1-1-2-a-2/
http://digg.com/apple/How_to_Jailbreak_your_iPod_Touch_1_1_2_Firmware
thanks to all the people behind those websites great job!
for iPhone users, pls just click on those links at the top, this is the only thing that i've done with my iPod touch so far and it works for me.. i hope it will on yours too
Thursday, January 3, 2008
THE REASON
A lot of us created blog because of a single or multiple reason. Some may create blog to provide a commentary or news on a particular subject... some may use it as their own online diaries.. some blogs focused on a single subject, others may not...
Well this is my first post and my first blog ever, and i just want to tell you why or what are the reasons behind it.... The main reason why i created blog is because I got nothing to do but i think a lot of things and i dont have anyone to share it with... well some of it were being shared to my friends but not the entire story... but this time, i am going to share anything that i thought, i felt, anything i want to say, and anything about any subject..
My blogs may contain some inappropriate words and might contain different languages but i would be happy to translate it in english if you just ask me... some might contain pictures and some might have videos, other posts may not...
I might also post some blogs against someone, something or somewhere but its my right to express my thoughts and feelings, if you are against with it, then you can freely leave a comment on it.
I dont care harsh words coz i might also use it here...
So far thats all i can think of for now
Thanks!
